A Leap Of Faith...Confidence With Style?

You know how it is...occasionally something comes along that sounds fabulous, looks fabulous and feels fabulous. You look, you think and you say yep...it's for me! And next thing you are in there!

  

Being open to possibilities...possibilities with a focus...like sunlight beaming across the water.  It begs the question 'What else is possible'?

 

So...I was presented with the opportunity to be part of a 'Build Your Authentic Audience for Abundance' 5 day workshop. Now I know it does not say it...but the basis was marketing. The facilitator was the amazing Helen Barber from 2B Creative.

It turned out to be so much more than that, it covered and uncovered layer after layer of who and what we are, the how, what, when, where and why's of what we do. Perhaps creative marketing describes it well.

Twelve women fronted up...all raring to go. We shared laughter, tears, breakthroughs and communicated in ways that only a bunch of like minded women can do. There were ahha moments, good moments and glorious moments. Our amazing strengths and fabulous failures supported us and Helen gently kept a reign on our progress. We came from different walks of life, we had similar yet different skill sets...and we were there to support each other.  

 Yesterday I listened to John Cleese speak about creativity - he talked about it not being a talent... rather a way of operating and defined creativity as the ability to play - to play with ideas and let an outcome evolve. And he talked about a closed and open mode of operating.

When in a closed mode which we often see in a work environment - there is lots to do, it is a race and deadlines to meet. In that process  you are apt to become slightly anxious - OK a lot anxious... impatient, stressed and there is little room for humour. No wonder you are not being creative.

On the other hand an open mode is where you are relaxed, expansive, you become less purposeful, you allow your curiousity to come out to play...and it does! And it opens the door to lightness and a touch of humour just happens.

It struck me that Helen had provided that open mode for us to explore, to be playful, to allow our curiousity to come and play...and it did!  

I am grateful and consider myself fortunate to meet these amazing women with a multitude of skills...we all took a leap of faith in attending...we all left so much richer for the experience.

 

Part of the deal was a presentation on the final day about what we do and how we do it. Wow!

The girls here listening intently to a presentation from Jane a talented and amazing artist, her sculptures are to die for. The colourful beanies from Antoinette around the table were from an earlier talk.

Of course no wind up would be complete without a presentation of certificates. Leesa's smile says it all! Thank you amazing Helen, thank you girls and some great strategic alliances are planned as a result.

All because we took a leap of faith, confidently...Ok we needed a little encouragement...and were open to the question...what else is possible?

Confidence, Change, cahhhhfoot...and possibilities! - Julia Gillard

What confidence...or is it craziness to step into the arena of politics. It is a powerful and dangerous game and certainly not one for the faint hearted. ...I ask....who are the real pawns in this game....the politicians, the power brokers, the bureaucracy or the public?

Kama is also a powerful element....did Ms Gillard's catch up with her yesterday...was it a 'passing' or would that be a 'throwing of the knife'? Dirty politics...how did she survive so long being under constant attack form all sides.  Are we as regular Australians embarrassed to be part of our political system? Are we sick of gutter politics?

Yet despite the happenings of yesterday...love or dislike her I am appalled by the way some of the media have treated Julia Gillard. She certainly displayed great grace under fire. Her speech was delivered with incredible poise, composure and graciousness in defeat. 

I am posing some 5 questions this morning as I reflect....and I am not a particularly political animal.

1. Would you vote for a woman again for the top job? It seems strange to hear people say they would not vote for a female for Prime Minister again. We have had male leaders in the past who were shockers...yet we still vote for males. It seems they are forgiven or forgotten for their transgressions - females who step into leadership positions are put under the spotlight at every move and often undermined in the process.

2. What is it really about? Is it about the future and good of our country or is it about grandstanding? Who is running our country? What difference will this change of leadership bring about? What was rushed through Parliament last night while this 'event' was being played out?

3. Has she been a role model? Throwing away your political preferences... this is not just about the character, politics or performance but possibility...Julia Gillard has paved the way for women of the future and proven that women can reach that top spot. Now don't get too excited I am not saying we need a woman there just because she is a woman. The path has now been paved...what else is possible?

4. Are strong confident women admired for getting there and then vilified for that very strength - by both men and women? It was said John Howard had 'psychological toughness' I think Julia Gillard demonstrates has it in bucket loads! This woman copped a battering from every side at every opportunity.

Yesterday I delivered a presentation entitled 'Strut Your Stuff'....finding and expressing your voice to stand up and be who you are...small stuff compared to being PM I know...however I ask you...

What are you doing to live and express who you are in your life?

I love to know you have been here, I invite you to share your thoughts.

CONFIDENCE is not spelt P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

Ok...who knows confidence is not spelt P.E.R.F.E.C.T?

Come on 'fess up now -  who waits forever for it to be perfect before you do anything? I know you are out there!

My 'perfection gene' was ever strong for so many years. It stopped me from doing so many things and  gave me so much heartache... does anyone else feel like that? Do you too feel dragged down at times?

So with my perfection gene temporarily tamed, I set about doing things from a more temperate point of view.  Well temperate for me that is...  maybe you can relate to that also!

A part of keeping your confidence on fire is to keep challenging yourself and for me that is daring for it 'not to be perfect'.

Last weekend I had the privilege of being a model for Divine Fashions of Nambour at the local Show. In my younger years I indulged in this fabulous feminine pursuit usually raising money for a worthy cause and had so much fun.

I am no longer young in years...young at heart, yes...ahhh the years have slipped by!  And,  I jumped at the opportunity...then the committee in my head started chattering... can I...will I....should I....what if....? STOP IT!!!!!

YES, YOU CAN DI....so I did! Do ever have wonderful intimate conversations with yourself....and sometimes get amazing answers.

Now why model if you don't get a little video clip.... this thought did not occur till we got there armed only with a mobile phone. And the lighting was not the best. However, it is about the spirit of the event NOT the perfection remember?

Now my confidence is on the line...I have been talking about it....so today I thought its time....well it was time to sort the technology first. With a little effort and a few 'goodness gracious me's'...I got them up on YouTube and onto a closed Facebook group as a practice run.

That my be small bikkies for some...no mean feat for me and it was my challenge for the day...with my confidence now in good shape... here they are! 

 

OK 'Take 2' - pride goes before a fall they say! perfection it was not, 'tanti' going on....videos won't work!!!!  So I have to concede defeat for today and settle for the links!!!  Next time I hope to have it nailed! Or should I say pinned down?

 

Practice night  first -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKtaQvrCiPk

The main event...well one of them...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqgYyQ6l_nw

                                   Remember CONFIDENCE  is not spelt P.E.R.F.E.C.T. 

It is all about having a go and doing it even when it less than perfect. 

Just have a go!  and fly away with calm quiet confidence!

My parting question to you is.... 

                                    What have you done recently to challenge yourself? 

I, and other readers love to know you have been here,... do leave a comment or even share if you have enjoyed the words.

Confident, Orgasmic and Edible...how much better can it get?

Don't you just love life, love meeting people and setting off on a journey to see where connections take you.

Over the past ten years as I have travelled my life alone the most amazing people have come into my life and shared things with me. I  have loved, laughed, learned, lost, grown and expanded.

 Friendships are ever changing, we move in an out of each others lives with an ebb and flow. I am very grateful for everyone who has come into or passed through my life as I navigate my incredible journey.

Confidence is also ever changing, it too can be a slippery little devil that is there one minute and gone the next. Each time we reach a new high it give us greater depth and offers yet another opportunity for growth. Women are so good at this...

I don't know about you...but I have had so many opportunities for growth I should be 10 foot tall...and to let you in on a secret... I used to be 5ffoot....I grew to 5.10 when I got confident.  Ok, OK not quite true...however being confident does make you feel taller.

Now I hear you saying "Get to the point Di...where does the orgasmic and edible bit fit in???? Not where you might think.....wicked girls!!!

It all comes back to friendship and confidence. A few months ago through the Queensland Bloggers Face book group I met this delightful, fun loving and talented lady Maureen.  And what does she do? She is the orgasmic Chef...for food that's better than sex!

 




Maureen as I said is multi talented and helping others is one of her amazing strengths. She took me under her wing as a budding blogger, we started talking websites...or she did...I got in involved in a program Get Up To Speed that is web and social media based and bingo!

Next thing Maureen is taking photos like  was a plate of her orgasmically delicious food, and I am learning the intricacies of taking control of my website. 

Yes, yes, yes...I know I haven't got to the orgasmically and edible part yet...I will though I will.

Recently I was at her home and Maureen was in the process of making this delicious, simple and wonderful dish for her blog post. And I got to see the preparation, presentation, the photo shoot and best of all the taste test...yes the orgasmical and edible part.  

Now while I like food, I am not in the 'fabulous chef' I would class myself as the 'average girl' in the kitchen. Rather a means to an end than enthusiastically searching for and following a recipe. However place a  scrumptious dish in front of me...then I do class myself as an enthusiastic eater of said fabulous food.

Just in case you would like to check out Maureen's blog and this recipe in particular...here is the link. goodness this recipe is one even I could follow.

http://www.orgasmicchef.com/vegetables/leftover-veggies-into-a-cheesy-vegetable-roll-and-in-my-kitchen-for-june/

Did you enjoy? Are you salivating in anticipation? Go try it ....I am sure you will love it. A delightful choice for a light and tasty lunch...yes I would call it  an orgasmic edible delight.

Confidence and passion have a synergistic relationship, add the spice... in this case the Orgasmic Chef...for food that is better than sex and you have a winner!

How I love to see the passion, enthusiasm, depth, joy and sharing that happens when a mature woman is in her flow. Thank you Maureen for being a special part of my life.

Confident, Orgasmic and Edible...how much better can it get?

Uummm...I will leave you to answer that point. I will however leave you with a question Who do you know who is confident, lives their life with passion, gives freely of herself and enjoys every moment of it?

 

Take a moment now to call, email or message her and tell her what she means to you. Friendships are the essence of life...thanks Maureen!

I would love you to share a comment on a wonderful friend in your life!

 

Respectfully supporting seductive, confident and knowing...mature women!

 

Respect, confidence tipped to arrogance and sexist bullying is sadly all over the news here in Australia at the moment. For those outside of our country...derogatory phrases about our female Prime Minister by a male, a candidate for the Opposition in our upcoming Federal elections has left many feeling angry, saddened and wondering where our politics are heading.

It would appear that women are encouraged to step up into leadership positions only then to be castigated by men... women and the media.

Yes the women in politics are mature women, the women on Boards are mature, women in leadership roles are mature women.  And...I am bringing in a comment from a male from my last post, not on leadership rather on the value and essence of mature women.

Rodney Bukuya  has given me permission to use his words, yes this about love and sensuality...and yes I believe this is the essence of women...that strength then flows into every other area of her life!  A heartfelt thanks from me Rodney...for sharing your thoughts.

That older women were once tossed into the scrap heap of beauty is one of our societies great failings. Even in my early 20's I'd had "friends" that were 15-20 years older and this continued for years.

The oldest woman I slept with in my early 20's was 63. She was a powerful and energetic woman and she had more love for life than many women half her age.

That her husband was no longer interested in her sexually or intellectually was mind boggling to a young man trying to find his way through the world.

I learned more about love, sexuality, intimacy and friendship from the older women in my life than I ever could from the girls my own age who were still scared of their own shadows.

If young men stopped being worried about what other people might think of them, then they too could do worse than take an older woman as a lover.

Older women taught me the art of bringing a woman out of fear and turning her into a sexual powerhouse. They also taught me how to harness the sexual gifts I had been given and use them to full advantage.

Older women taught me to be discerning with my sexual energy, taught me how to walk out of a party with the most wanted woman in there.

Older women taught me the use of innuendo and play, taught me how to coax a woman away from the very table she was sitting at with her husband. Taught me how to get a woman how to tell her partner she was leaving with me.

Am I being frivolous in sharing these words? Noooooooooooooooo I am not.

My thoughts and my writings come from my heart, they come form observations and conversations I have with other mature women. So many are feeling fear, overwhelm, uncertain and put down.  

I am passionate and  a strong advocate for women to have the confidence to do what they need to do and to say what they need to say... in their world. And...to support them in that process.  

In light of the last few days political events here, my thoughts on confidence,  sensuality and knowing, I felt compelled to speak out. Yes my thoughts start from the heart and to me a helping hand does not end at the wrist it extends to your heart.

Never think that my lightness of tone lessens my intent, respect and integrity for the support and betterment of women...especially mature women, in every area of life.

 

 

Confidence comes from being prepared...what song do you sing, what words do you use to support you... and the other the mature women in your life? 


When is enough...enough?

I would love you to leave a message and share your thoughts in praise of a mature women...

 

So...Who do you know who is one fantastic mature woman and why?

Seductive, Confident, Knowing...the allure of the older woman.

Seductive, confident and knowing providing the allure behind mature women, the title and the subject, ... had novelist Howard Jacobsen enthralled... for me...I was interested in his opinion seeing as I am one...mature woman of course.  

I popped the link here for those who may like to go in to the nitty gritty...ok the detail....and see how his views stack up.

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1245793/Seductive-confident-knowing-The-allure-older-woman-novelist-Howard-Jacobson-enthralled.html

 And what wonderful role models - Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep.

His clever use of questions...and yes...ask better questions if you want better answers had me considering. For example:

At what age does a girl become a woman?

And what does the change from one to another imply? 

I love the word 'woman'. I love forming it. You have to round your lips to pronounce it and lower your voice. 'Woman.' The sound lingers long and aromatically in your mouth, whereas 'girl' is effortless and throwaway. You barely notice you have said it.

Try forming your lips around the word woman now...then try it with girl. Surprising? Have you ever tried it before?  No...I hadn't either. Now it can be  a  part of your 'older woman's knowing' for your judicious use at the right moment. 

It isn't only because it lacks a syllable that 'Girl'  misses the boat. There simply isn't enough history in 'girl', not enough recollection of love and heartbreak. 
 
Great point... it is the history of love and heartbreak that create the 'woman' we become.  We are all the women we are today, because of our life experience...and not just because of what has happened to us...rather how we have handled our experiences  and how we are now choosing to live our lives as a result. Another facet to the allure of a mature woman. 

 

'Make a mirthful virtue of what age has done to you, as Meryl Streep does in It's Complicated, and you are not a helpless victim of time's ravages.

The greatest mistake the modern woman makes is to suppose she can graft a girl - the girl she once was or another girl entirely - on to her ageing features.' 

Girls be proud of who and what you are, there has never been a better time to be 50+. Take Meryl Streep's phrase 'make a mirthful virtue out of what age has done to you. Why feel the need to 'nick and tuck'?  If you 'do' your face...then your hands, neck and knees will give you away every time. The sparkle in your eye is not lessened by an wrinkle or two.

Even Cleopatra appreciated her age...she considered herself 'ripe in judgement and the more powerful and interesting for it.'

'For a woman's experience, whether cloaked in mystery or jested about openly, is a great spur to passion'- now here is where I thought the author was showing a wee bit of male attitude.

Uummm pass on that one... I was thinking  he was a little bit one eyed. 

'For a woman to make comedy out of her experience and appearance requires courage - yet she should have confidence in the arousing effect'. 

Finding humour in a situation and in our lives even when surrounded by chaos  is skill and one with cultivating. My experience, personally and  with clients has been that when a drama hits....the ability to have fun and laugh goes out the window.  Suddenly you wake up one day...and find you have forgotten  'how'.  The insecurities hit and you think 'OOhh I couldn't...could I?

You betcha girls...go for it! Whether you are fifty and feisty, sixty and sassy or to quote Coco Chanel,  "You can be classy at forty, gorgeous at fifty or irresistible for the rest of your life! Let's go for irresistible!

The phrase that struck a cord with me was that 'she has grown into her face'. 

 

It reminded me of myself...I believe I did exactly that...on reflection my challenging early life left me with no confidence and no self esteem. My inner thoughts and feelings were reflected outwardly for the world to see. 

Decades later and experiences from the miniscule to the monumental have seen me 'grow into my face' with confidence and courage, style and graciousness. 

 'If only I had had a confidence coach in my early days'! Today I fill that role for other women. You may have a goal, yet realise that having self esteem and self confidence are actually more important than the goal or a lack of confidence is preventing you from achieving it. If you want to read from someone who did it themselves read more at http://www.diriddell.com/About-Di_2/ . And the amazing thing is with self esteem and self confidence restored things start to happen and your goal is much more achievable. 

The article concludes with the words. ' Somehow or other the older woman has been tricked into thinking that when it comes to appearance, the young have all the answers, when the truth is that to be young is to be uncertain, frightened and gauche
In fact, 'the older woman has it all - if only she knew it.

I would love to hear your comments and I leave you with 3 questions to ponder:

• What is the allure of the older woman to you?
• Do you see yourself as alluring, confident, knowing?
• Does the older woman have it all?

OORFL - yet was it... really, really awful!

 

Not a grain of confidence was in evidence....overwhelm, disbelief, worry flooded through me. Why you ask? I had the most 'technological terror  charged '  evening you could imagine.

And where did I go...straight to overwhelm!

Now I know this would not happen to any of you...but you might know someone who it happens to! In that case you may feel the urge to forward this on to them.

And why...why am I bearing all? Simply as a timely reminder that all have little, bigger, Ok gigantic slip ups every now and again. We reach that place where rational thought disappears...remember avoid 'berating self  and indulging in self flagellation'.  The Universe will think you love it and give you more!!!!!

Just a gentle reminder...It's NOT always all about you!

And just how did I come up with OORFL, apart from thinking it was awful? 

Not my English teacher I can assure you....

O Overwhelm

R Recognition

R Re-choose

F Forgive

L laugh

Overwhelm - Life, like confidence ebbs and flows, usually when a number of things happen together...then we slip beyond rational thought and head straight to overwhelm....All your projections, judgements and anxieties come galloping forward to join the mayhem.

♥  A tip - Avoid pulling your hair out. Recognise that is where you are, take responsibility and remember it's not always all about you.

  

Recognition - To recognise that things happen, life happens, if you are starting out on your journey of growth and learning new coping habits, you first need to dissolve the old. It has taken you 10, 20 30 or even 50 years to get to where you are...change doesn't just happen overnight.

 ♥ A tip - be willing to look at an experience with new eyes. Recognise it is a slip, not a landslide. Acknowledge your slip, smile and take that awareness as a stepping stone forward.

 Re-choose - Just as you chose, yes, you did choose overwhelm...you can now choose a new thought, word or action. That is where the strategies and new habits you are forming come into play.

♥ A tip - Do something today that your future self will thank you for...work on your new strategies regularly, especially when you feel good that makes them a habit and it is easier to put them into practice. if you wait to practice until you are in a drama then they are less effective. 

Forgive - How we berate ourselves when something goes wrong! Who did that... why me... I never did anything...he did/she did... and the list goes on. Learning to forgive yourself comes from a place of self love, then you will find it easier to forgive others.

 ♥ A tip - Breathe and release. Forgive and love yourself, it will change you life. Forgive others not because they deserve it or you condone an action...but because it brings you peace. 

Laugh - When a challenge arises in life one of the first things to disappear is your sense of and ability to have fun and laugh. Next thing years have gone by...and suddenly you don't remember how.

♥ A tip - The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. Develop the skill of being able to laugh at yourself. Remember whatever happens...this too shall pass.  And...the sun will still come up tomorrow and... if it is raining consider it liquid sunshine.

The good news when I took responsibility and action using these strategies my next 24 hours amazing things happened. A check up from the neck up helps us all...yes including me!

If you are feeling overwhelmed or your confidence has slipped  contact  me through 

 www.diriddell.com or direct on di@diriddell.com for a coaching session. I'll take the overwhelm away so you can focus on attracting the next best thing into your life.