Weeping and Wailing over Wrinkles...Never! A re-think on aging!

 

The beautiful words below and image crossed my path today, they touched me and I felt I wanted to share.

In a world that worships youth, disdains the aged...especially women and is horrified at wrinkles...it is easy to allow our inner and outer confidence and beauty to be hidden, sometimes so deeply that it can't re-surface.

We often hide our fabulousness, compare ourselves to others, forget to seek role models, regret the passing of our youth, forget to dream and weep and wail over our wrinkles... and forget the value of our wisdom, insights and understandings.  

There has never been a better time to be 50+, for you to fire up your confidence, to recognise that confidence can be a slippery little devil that flows and grows... and look at your ever changing energy with excitement and anticipation.

If you feel yourself wavering in life right now...these beautiful words may add pleasure to your day. The image accompanying portrays pure grace, beauty and quiet confidence. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

10 Commandments for being a Beautiful Ageless Woman

Thou shalt dare to be fabulous.

Thou shalt know that comparing thyself to other women is like comparing a lotus to a rose.

Thou shalt seek out and find those role models of women who accept their aging as their ally!

Thou shalt know that an addiction to youth can only lead to disappointment. Detaching from it opens the pathway to self-acceptance.

Thou shalt know that opening to thy dreams is the way to discover what the universe has in store for thee.

Thou shalt rise above society’s youthful ideal and know that wrinkles and lines add softness and depth of character.

Thou shalt protect thy beauty by allowing purpose and intimacy to be central in thy life.

Thou shalt know that looking great is wonderful, but a rich inner life manifests outwardly as true grace and beauty.

Thou shalt rejoice in uniting with nature, allowing her to season thee with wisdom, insight & understanding. She teaches to accept a design far grander than any of thy dreams.

Thou shalt keep going, going, & going with lightness of being.

TRUST THE HEART THAT HAS LOVED YOU ALL YOUR LIFE.

Author Unknown
Image By womensbeautylife.com

What are your top ideas for aging with exquisite grace.... I would love you to share them.

Hugs to howls and back...with confidence!

Today I am reminded of the saying 'this too shall pass'. When everything is going swimmingly and you are on top of the world...remember this too shall pass! Conversely when things NOT going well...remember 'this too shall pass!

 Yesterday I had a wonderful day... off to laughter yoga,  then onto a 'Heal Yourself Expo' to participate in the Hug patrol, lunch with other huggers and later dinner with friends....in all a great day!

The Hug patrol for those who are not aware is a group of hug addicts on the Sunshine Coast.  What are we about?  To borrow the text from our Facebook page - We've hugged our way around festivals, markets, nursing homes and special events since 1999. If you love giving and receiving hugs, come and take up arms with us.
Men and women of any age welcome - we've had toddlers to wobblers.
Also, if you know of or are running an event that could use some hugs, let us know

Touch, physical contact and hugs are lacking in many peoples lives today...what a great way to spend time, offering free hugs far and wide. The joy and laughter generated is such delightful.

If you would like to see then pop onto this video clip. It requires an element of confidence to wear the gear in public and approach the unknown for a hug.  Yet we are all aware of the rewards when we step out of our comfort zone...our reward yesterday seeing the joy as for some that is the only hug they may be receiving for the day.

And unlike the gym...there is no recovery time needed...you can simply hug, hug and hug! And we did!  Ahh technology and I are having communication issues today....it wont allow me to ad the video however here is the link to see what we do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_qJAZ2AQyc

So Di...I hear you saying 'where does the howl come in? '

Me howling with frustration...impatience...having a 'tanti'? Me? Well maybe...

Does anyone else have this fabulous skill of 'giving yourself  a hard time? Go on be honest now...as I guess a glimmer of a smile is peeking through. 

Why am I  F.I.T. - frustrated, impatient and having a tanti today???

I am in the process of learning about Wordpress websites....'easy' they said, 'no problem' they said, 'you will be fine' they said! And in some area that's correct...others well...I am learning. growing, expanding, improving...but not fast enough.

 

Armed with instructions, starting early this morning so I was fresh, no distractions...I will have it nailed I thought. Well the Universe had other ideas... soo time to call on my sense of humour...to remind myself the sun will still come up tomorrow...

And to remember 'this too shall pass'...

We often think we will be thought 'less of' when we let our true selves be seen...I find when I am open about who and what I am...it creates an opening for others to be open with me.

Are you confident about being you?

What can you offer your world through being your authentic self?

What has had you hugging and howling recently?

I would love you to share as I believe our confidence grows through shared experiences mixed with a healthy dose of love, light and laughter.

Confidence...is it a woman's sexist attribute?

'I totally agree that Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have! says Steve Liddy, a Facebook friend and coach. 

 Yes... words straight from a male... and they support my thoughts exactly.

Now girls before you get all excited and think I am exploiting boobs and butts....please read on!
Steve's gem continues 'Confidence however should not to be confused with vanity, self centeredness or arrogance. It requires a good level of emotional intelligence to have a healthy ego that feeds a sexy attitude.'

My feelings are that confidence in your being the 'woman you become' takes a level of maturity...in age, attitude and mindset.

And...to get on my bandwagon...I think mature women are sensual rather than sexy...however for today I am happy to bundle them together. How do I differentiate?   I think sexy is out there, in your face, obvious and yes, all about sex! Sensual incorporates all the senses, it is how you think, act, talk, walk and connect. It may or may not lead to sex.

When a woman combines her sensual/sexy self with confidence it is powerful.

Yet what is confidence? It is a living growing attribute...that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…have you ever looked at a quietly confident woman and thought to yourself ‘I want some of what she’s got?”

Steve's comment confidence 'should not to be confused with vanity, self centeredness or arrogance' got me on my next hobby horse...

Many times I have noticed women gaining confidence which initially flips into arrogance. I speak from personal experience here...eons ago when I was training to become a nurse...yes in the late 60's..discipline was the order of the day.  I believe that bred in nurses the attitude of "I will give back what I got'...so I did.

It was my first shift as a senior nurse - in an aged persons ward...and I was so, so excited. The perceived  'power' of being boss for the evening went right to my head. In brief, my junior came and asked what to do with the patients after that had had dinner. My haughty reply was 'we clean their teeth and put them to bed'...and off I went feeling very important.

She came up to me later saying 'I have done that'...and proudly showed me a sponge bowl with 30 pair of teeth floating in it!  Uummmm after I said 'goodness gracious me' ...we had one hell of an evening finding whose teeth belonged to whom...in case you have not noticed old folks teeth don't fit so size was not a guide....I think you get the picture...

The learning...there is always a learning! If I had used the confidence gained through training and guided her ( even though I thought she was not the brightest star in the sky)...and not been in my bubble of self important arrogance...it would never have happened. 

Where was my emotional intelligence...or any other intelligence that night? Sometimes it takes a little 'experience' in life like mine to deliver a touch of reality. 

Think back for a moment...was there a time when you allowed your confidence to slip over to arrogance?

So confidence is not about shouting from the rooftops about how good you are, it is not about putting others down, it is not about arrogance...it is all about  that invisible attitude, that extraordinary energy that can add a sparkle to every part of your life. A confident woman knows who she is, her worth and her value, what she is about, what she will and won't accept.  You look at her and just know...

It is all about how do you walk, talk, connect and think? Steve calls it a 'healthy ego that feeds a sexy attitude.'  I can't think of better words to use.

And my heart felt thanks to Steve for being my reality check this morning....  www.SuccessfulLifeResults.com

Each of you will have your stories of confidence, maybe arrogance...maybe in thinking about it....you are blushing and cringing.... it is never too late is my observation in my coaching women around confidence. if you would like to chat about your confidence contact through www.diriddell.com

I would love you to share your thoughts and stories on how you perceive confidence?


And...yes, it is always great to know you have been here...

'Looking Forward Looking Back'... Di Style.

 

 

Nooooooo, not Slim Dusty,. This is Slim Di's version minus the music. I Goggled the lyrics this morning...just to get the thinking juices flowing...

I know, I know... not exactly a dashing figure is she? 

Not quite full of sunshine Miss Di!  

I think it was one of my non compliant days...how is that for creative phrasing?

Now where was I? Oh yes lyrics....

  Looking forward, looking back
I’ve come a long way down the track
Got a long way left to go
Making songs, from what I know

Making sense of what I’ve seen
All the love we’ve had between
You and I, along the track
Looking forward, looking back

There are strange days
Full of change on the way
But we’ll be fine, unlike some
I’ll be leaning forward, to see what’s coming.

Now what got me going on this subject you may well be asking! 

 I was sitting at a cafe along the Esplanade at Cotton Tree yesterday morning having breakfast with a friend and I started reminiscing  ( a fancy way of saying looking back) about how Cotton Tree was 60 years ago. How the Sunshine Coast has altered in my 60 years...what wonderful memories for me, it may take you for a trip down memory lane also.  

Our world is changing so rapidly...I think the only constant we face is change!

For those readers who are not familiar with this area, Cotton Tree is a beautiful spot on the Sunshine Coast about 100 kms north of Brisbane. This is the area where I grew up, my grandmother used to live in Cornmeal Parade  about where the Court House now is.

Grandmother lived in this cottage, simple, clean and tidy. There were many just like it. 

We would walk along the Esplanade, the beach and waterfront alive with soldier crabs. I remember them tickling my toes as they scuttled away in haste and buried into the sand at great speed. My thrill was to collect them in my plastic bucket then release them back into shallow water. Such simple childhood pleasures.   

The main corner at Cotton Tree where the Coffee Club now is was an old double story Queenslander that had a skating rink and the movie theatre was  close by also.  A photo says a thousand words...here it says it all...then and now!

 

 

There were no formal parks or concrete walkways, no fancy restaurants, the swimming hole had this great wooden structure that did not seem all that safe even in those days, the photo shows children climbing up, slipping down jumping in...you can't hear them but they were squealing with pleasure. I know I was there! And...I don't remember anyone being hurt!

Before you got to the water, you got changed in the 'bathing shed', a ramshackle timber structure on the beach with a ramp up to it a wooden slat floor, obviously to let the sand fall through ...into your bathers, get your nose plastered with zinc cream, a hat rammed...yes rammed on, ears tucked in and off you went. Ohh no hang on... that was for playing in the sand...of course hat off in the water....or worse the dreaded bathing cap that squeezed your ears and cut off the circulation...and come to think about it they were not that attractive either.

 

 

 

 

The two photos tell their story, the first taken in the early 50's and the second the early 60's. How different today with the concrete paths, special playgrounds and equipment, gas BBQ's, shade sails for protection, a huge swimming complex. Grandmother would turn in her grave...

Would she? or would she have taken it in her stride...she faced incredible  challenges in her time...what would she think if she were to come  back today?...

I would probably be scolded for...... noooooooooooooooo not for not smiling...but for not wearing 'proper underwear'... i.e. corsets and not displaying perfect posture...and a bikini...from one who wore 'bombay bloomers'...she would be shocked and speechless.

Now having your photo taken was not an everyday occurrence. This day, I was obviously having a bad day, most likely got a spanking because I would not smile.  Mum seemed to think a whack on the bottom would magically produce a beaming smile

As I mentioned...I like to consider that I was having a non-compliant day. Have you ever had one of those? 

I had a wonderful breakfast, great company in a beautiful area...what more could I ask? It is exciting to consider what may happen next...yes. at Cotton Tree and in life.

Maybe my musings have taken you back in time, opening you to think about the changes that have taken place in your lifetime.

Are you 'leaning forward, to see what’s coming', as Slim says?

Sometimes that can be scary, sometimes we worry about it, sometimes life's experiences  give us a shake.

How can you 'make sense of what you've seen' and now  'lean forward' in your life...and not only see but embrace what's coming? 

I hope you enjoy learning more about what influences me, my life  and my coaching. Please leave a comment, I love to know you have been here and I am sure you have something to teach me also as we travel this incredible journey called 'life'. 

If you are struggling, feel frustrated or overwhelmed at the moment...maybe a Confidence session could be of benefit. If so check in at
http://www.diriddell.com/                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

 I would love you to share your experiences.

Have you ever sat in judgement...only to find...

Are you saying...'Me...never' as you ruffle your feathers self righteously?

Or are you squirming, smiling  and saying...'Yep... guilty as charged!'

Now that takes confidence to own up...speak up...be prepared to change it...then laugh about it!

 Whether you are one end of the spectrum or the other... or anywhere in between...at any time we have a choice to change our thoughts, words and actions.

Today I have three points for us to consider: 

• The tip of the iceberg
• Adding light and laughter in your life
• Whatever happened today...be gentle, forgiving and loving to yourself.

Remember what we see is the tip of the iceberg.... 

Have you ever jumped to conclusions about a person only to be proven wrong at a later time? I know I have. 

Here I cannot help thinking about the process of aging. Now we all know what treasures we are underneath our maturing exterior... yet is that what we show to the world or how society sees us? Many mature women tell me that they feel invisible. That our world is based on the 'young and beautiful'. Girls you can still be seen, be heard and be visible!

Have you let the tip become the mountain? - Maybe you are unsure of yourself, doubting, challenges are all around you, drowning you...and you have blurred and obscured what lays beneath.

Ask yourself what is one small thing I can do today to show my confident and gorgeous self? That may sound glib, however it is the little things that add up to the bigger ones. 

  

Remember to laugh and add some lightness to your life.

In times of challenge, one of the first things to disappear is our ability to have fun. A prime example for me was the loss of my husband. I went through the grief, loss,  how could I relax and enjoy myself is he was not here,  it is not respecting his loss if I enjoy myself, 'I am a widow, I could not possibly do that' and on and on and on it went....

If that is where you are at right now, take heart, life does get better. You can change, you can still have a great life...it will just be different.

To add some lightness to your day...this link to a youtube clip is an entertaining excerpt delivered by marriage expert Mark Gungor  exploring the differences between men and women...yes it is 13mins. Do take the time to relax, laugh and enjoy!

Whatever happened today...be gentle, forgiving and loving to yourself

And finally regardless of what happened today... remember to tell yourself how much you love yourself.  Many of us set such high standards for ourselves...and I don't know about you... my mind still thinks I am 25...it makes all these rash decisions about what I can do in one day...and the body says ...'Hold it...get real woman!' So I tell myself gently at the end of the day...'It's Ok Di, the sun will still come up tomorrow and I love you anyway'....

    

I, and I am sure my readers would love to hear your points... on your 'tip of the iceberg' experiences... please do leave a comment I love to know you have been here!

From my heart to your heart.... on Mothers Day

Motherhood places your heart is on the line...not just for the birth, not for childhood, the teen years young adult or when you are mature. Motherhood is for life. And...it takes every grain of confidence you can muster along the way.

 

This particular heart is the symbol I used for my self published book, today it is a wonderful representation  of the heart of a Mum. The heart within a heart, pink for unconditional love and incomplete circle encompasses all yet leaves the space for growth and change. 

 

I started to use this phrase 'from my heart to your heart' as a speaker for the Heart Foundation. it embodied the heart facts, a connection with the audience and today is representing a symbol of motherhood.

 

Being  a mother takes patience, a sense of humour and lots of tissues...it also takes confidence, resilience and even more tissues ...So what's with the tissues you ask? to mop up the tears of exquisite joy, maddening resistance and incredible sadness that encompass everything that happens to us as a Mum.

 

In case you had not noticed...motherhood and babies don't come with instructions and what's more...they are all different! How do we manage to survive and thrive through this incredible experience?

For many of us motherhood brings out the tigress in us...it unleashes potential we never knew we had.

Does the look on dog's face express how you have felt at some time during motherhood???? Go on...you are allowed to laugh...I know you want to!

At one stage when our teenagers were 'exerting their authority'  aka driving us crazy a girlfriend gave me a fridge magnet which reads 'old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill.'  Those words helped me over many a rough moment.                               

Now I don't know about you... but I rather thought I was 'master of the universe' for a few years...OK a lot of years and it took some serious life challenges before I realised the changes I could choose to make. I went through the 'my Mum knows nothing' when I was a teenager, to gee 'not bad' when I was a young Mum, to 'wow  how wise' in latter years. 

Rumi expresses it beautifully here supporting the message with butterflies, a symbol of transformation.       

  

    

Today whether you are a mother, daughter, granddaughter, step daughter or any other variation of a Mum...I send love to mothers everywhere...it is a privilege to have been one and to have one.    

                                                                          .

What is the best lesson you have learned as a Mum? I think we could have a great conversation around that question.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Yes...it was worth it!

Yep...I am feeling it all  -  gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, friendly...confident even...sensual even...well enough about me!

How are you?

And 'what has caused you to feel sooo amazing Di,'  I hear you ask?

 

Oh dear! I have had to work at it... last week I allowed myself to go into overwhelm. Heaps to do, heading of for a three day Toastmasters Convention...AND I COULD GET MOTIVATED!

Has that ever happened to you?

Here is a fair representation of yours truly last week. 

And there I was thinking, out loud...very out loud...I don't want to go! I am not organised! I will never be ready! I am not, am not, am not.....blah! blah! blah! 

I did not even get a blog post done!

Do you ever feel like that?

It happens to us all at some time...what is important is that we don't allow those feelings to take control and stop us from having a great time, doing what we love to do...and doing it in style!

What is it that lights your fire?

What gets you going...and motivated?

What do you feel passionate about?

Yes...for me it is Toastmasters...for you it will be something else...it does not matter what it is...just so long as you make the time to do it...and allow yourself to enjoy it...then relish to pleasure as a result.

 

By the time we were having dance and social time over the weekend...you could say I looked like this...

Yes ...I know...there I go taking literary license again...my imagination is soo, soo good!

I find when I make the effort, go the extra mile...and that starts with choosing the wardrobe.. and the shoes ( 8 pair)...and decide which knickers go with what, what jewellery goes with what...oops where was I?

Oh yes...make the effort, prepare, attend, participate, have fun, connect with friends...the result is worth it... massive motivation.

Tonight I admit there is a tinge of tiredness present...notice I did not mention sleep in any of my story!  

 

 

Tonight I rather look like this...

Yes, it was worth it...in answer to my question 'how are you?'

Can you answer - I feel gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, friendly...confident even...sensual even?

                                              

If yes... fantastic...I would love you to share you experience.

If not then I urge you to decide today to do something that lights your fire!