Saturday, 16 February 2013

A cuddle virgin ... you’re a what?


Settle in and I will tell you! And if you are, then attending a cuddle party could just be just the thing! It just sounds warm and fuzzy doesn’t it! It is and a whole lot more…

Yes, I have been! I did it! And…contrary to popular opinion I survived and thrived!

Now before you go getting too excited… settle petal! It is not about grab and grope!

Then what is it you say? For me - ‘Bliss, relaxation and a sense of your personal power.

 So here it is ... What is a Cuddle Party?

A Cuddle Party is … a change in consciousness...
It’s about compassion, affection and touch.
Most importantly it’s about touch that is not about sex.   

The skills you learn at Cuddle Party translate into every day life, right from the start. When boundaries and consent are clear, every relationship is easier.

It is about boundaries and it being Ok to say yes or no.
How often in your life have you said ‘yes’ when you wanted to say ‘no’?
Or said ‘no’ when you wanted to say yes?

So I thought… here I am being open to life and possibilities, sensuality for the mature women…this sounded like something I would like to explore.

Setting and living personal boundaries that support me has been a life long challenge. Hang on I am getting ahead of myself…

Where was I? At the Third Eye Healing Centre in Redcliffe . Our gorgeous hosts Judy and Paul have converted an old church into the most amazing home and space – ‘unique, blissful and serene’ they call it. Yep…they were right, the atmosphere was exquisite…I can’t think of another word to describe it! Saying simply that it was a sensual delight would be an understatement…every one of my senses was alive and alert, I was in sensual heaven. Loads of rugs and cushions adorned the floor just inviting you to pop on down along with low lighting, candlelight, soft music set the scene beautifully.The image is not at the centre, I am just giving you the idea.


 Our wonderful facilitator Philip took us on a sensational journey, engaging us from word goes. Setting the rules, yes there are rules, given in a warm, light hearted yet meaningful way aimed at setting everyone at ease. I especially loved his description of the non touch of ‘those’ areas of the body…. It was a mixed group of about 15, all ages, some newbie’s like me and others experienced cuddle party goers. 

Can you believe it…I was called a cuddle party virgin…I think I should frame that phrase. It’s been a long time since anyone referred to me as a virgin!

 We started the night with a slightly confrontational exercise for me…pairing off then tempting your partner so they had to say no when they wanted to say yes, and saying yes when they wanted to say no. Can you imagine how difficult that is when the person is two inches from your nose…tempting you or revolting you? Being ‘in your face’ describes it well!

Just think about it for a moment…how often do friends and family ask, demand, cajole, pull out the ‘guilt factor’ or worse the ‘fear factor’ to entice you to say ‘yes’? Those times when you just know that you don’t want to go, know it is not your thing or sometimes even just that vague uncomfortable feeling you can’t explain but you just know you don’t want to do it…you open your mouth to say no and ‘yes’ squeaks out!  I have been there many times…and although I would love to say ‘I am an angel, the little horns you see are just there to keep my halo straight’ I have to confess I have been guilty of getting that ‘yes’ when I knew someone did not want to do something in the past. ‘Only in the nicest possible way’ you hear me saying sweetly…uummmmmmm!

Or conversely, how often have you said ‘no’ when you want to say ‘yes’.  People pleasing are what pops in to my mind as I consider this, or maybe when you are on a diet…same as above…

We were not left to dwell there and moved on to the object of the night – cuddling. Something worth knowing…you don’t actually have to cuddle anybody. It is OK to sit on the lounge, sit and watch and say ‘No thank you’.  

 For me it was to have the experience, to feel comfortable about asking and then about receiving a yes or a no and that being OK. To get in there and give and receive hugs and even a hand or foot massage…and…yes I did! 

Some cuddles were on on one, some in a line and some in a group.Sometimes it was quiet, sometimes there was laughter and sometimes quiet chatting. 

 Was it a challenge? Yes it was. Ok Di what was your experience?  

·         No problem in saying yes…that’s no surprise
·         Asking to give – I received only one no for the evening…the rejection gene tried to slip in there…I was awake to her ploys!
·         Saying when it was complete for me…no problem
·         When told it was complete for a partner…rejection gene popped her ugly little up head again…ahhhh awareness is a wonderful thing!
·         Did things come up for me to work on…yes they did...and I am OK with that
·         Towards the end of the evening I simply wished to lay 100% relaxed and soak up and process what had happened. I absorbed and luxuriated in that exquisite state of relaxation.
·         Would I do it again…sure would and soon this Friday actually! I am keen to see how I react second time, different place, and different group.
·         I have taken another step in creating boundaries that support me
·         Leaned and been reminded of things that will benefit all my relationships

My sensual side totally satisfied, my boundaries clearer I was simply thrilled I did not have to drive home…thank you Philip for a fabulous evening.

Have I piqued your interest? Don’t take my word for it slip over to  and see for yourself…if you are local there is one next Friday night details on the website! ps being a cuddle virgin was wonderful…give it a go!

Happy cuddling…♥


  1. I've never experienced anything like this before. I look forward to episode 2. :-)

    1. It was absolutely amazing..episode 2 uummmmm...I am sure I will have a deeper perspective. That is why I have chosen to go again next week.

      Thanks for the comment Maureen.... cheers Di

    2. Good for you Di! I'm not quite there yet. I really appreciate you sharing your experience of it too. Krishna xx

    3. AAhhh we should all have something to look forward to Krishna...Ok, Ok,Ok I know that was wicked of me... we all do what is suitable to us...and that is terrific...I am certainly not trying to influence others...just giving ideas for those wanting something new to try.

      I admit I expected to see myself challenged and I was...any work around boundaries I find it fascinating as we so often allow others to influence ours.

      Let's see what happens this week...cheers Di