Simple Radical Self Care - Step1.

 

What? There is more than one step you say?  And with confidence I say YES! 

And it's WHAT?...... Self dating!

Now I know step and self dating could be defined in many ways... as an aside...cute image huh? We will come back to that.

Now we all know the story about every journey no matter how long starts with the first step.

The step before the first step is acknowledging and being prepared to do something about it.  I am taking that as a given! And I did not say it was easy.

Many of us fear change or something different. We cling to what is or was...and in that space our self care can dissipate at the speed of light leaving us feeling alone, vulnerable and wondering what to do next.  Just for fun try writing to 'change' and inviting it to be your friend. 

 Dear Change,

I have previously been afraid of you. You were not welcome in my home and life, and I spoke badly of you behind your back.

I resisted you, avoided you &  made fun of you.

I want to change our relationship. I want to learn to cultivate and respect you, dance with you and take you out to dinner.

Let’s explore together.  Will you be my everlasting friend?

 

The step I am talking about is self - dating.  It starts with the basis of self care and only when you learn to love and appreciate yourself can you project that care and love out to others.

Julia Cameron in her book The Artists Way, calls it the 'artists date'  where you are opening yourself to insight, inspiration and guidance.  It is a block of time about 2 hours you set aside each week committed to nurturing your creative consciousness.  You need to be taken out, pampered and listened to joyfully.

Ok then you find that you have made the commitment...now watch your killjoy proper self try and wriggle out. Watch how this sacred time gets encroached upon or includes a third party. STOP IT! Noooooo this time is for you. That could be resistance as a fear of intimacy - self-intimacy.

Sark the American author of Succulent Wild Women calls it 'outrageous adventures' and in part discusses traveling alone. Without using the word she utilises all the senses and says the challenges include being sacred, finding delight in being all alone, relying on yourself, whether you are close or far away from home. She urges you  stretch your 'love being alone muscle' and to fill your life with tiny and large adventurous moments.

Now neither of those may appeal to you.  It does not matter 'what' you do...only that you hold that time sacred and that you nurture yourself. It may be a walk on the beach, strolling through craft shops, having a massage, enjoying a coffee or absorbing the atmosphere in a book shop.

You may like to take up a new interest like dancing.... the image could be a wee bit extreme for some. Pole dancing may have been your thing in youth, it does not have quite the same effect on a walking sick. Yet...isn't the look on her face just priceless!

 

Or heaven forbid - exercise...I think this image was just made for me!  I am simply lucky I have naturally tall slim genes.

My exercise took the form of belly dancing in a very casual way. Now call it age...but in my mind it looks like this... consider yourself fortunate that there are no real time photos... ohh the imagination is a very powerful tool! 

Smiles aside...Whatever you choose, I urge you to 'self date', offer yourself that gift. If it is new for you realise there may be resistance and emotions may rise for you to deal with...remember you are doing it for your own radical self care.

 Self dating is part of my Confidence package if you would like to check it out slip over to

http://diriddell.com/confidence-coaching-2/

Or maybe you are already a dedicated self - dater...if so I would love you to share your experience, I know other readers would be delighted to hear.   

The step I am talking about is self - dating.  It starts with the basis of self care and only when you learn to love and appreciate yourself can you project that care and love out to others.

Julia Cameron in her book The Artists Way, calls it the 'artists date'  where you are opening yourself to insight, inspiration and guidance.  It is a block of time about 2 hours you set aside each week committed to nurturing your creative consciousness.  You need to be taken out, pampered and listened to joyfully.

Ok then you find that you have made the commitment...now watch your killjoy proper self try and wriggle out. Watch how this sacred time gets encroached upon or includes a third party. STOP! Noooooo this time is for you. That could be resistance as a fear of intimacy - self-intimacy.

Sark the American author of Succulent Wild Women calls it 'outrageous adventures' and in part discusses traveling alone. Without using the word she utilises all the senses and says the challenges include being sacred, finding delight in being all alone, relying on yourself, whether you are close or far away from home. She urges you  stretch your 'love being alone muscle' and to fill your life with tiny and large adventurous moments.

Now neither of those may appeal to you.  It does not matter 'what' you do...only that you hold that time sacred and that you nurture yourself. It may be a walk on the beach, strolling through craft shops, having a massage, enjoying a coffee or absorbing the atmosphere in a book shop.

You may like to take up a new interest like dancing.... the image could be a wee bit extreme for some. Pole dancing may have been your thing in youth, it does not have quite the same effect on a walking sick. And...isn't the look on her face just priceless!

Or heaven forbid - exercise...I think this image was just made for me!  I am simply lucky I have naturally tall slim genes.